[21-Day CX Challenge] #11 -- You Should Stop Saying "You Should"

Hi again,

Today we're taking a break from the things you want your customers to say, so we can spend some time looking at the things you say to your customers. Some twist, right?

The #1 Way to Make Someone Not Want to Do Something...

...Is to tell them they should do it.

Let's explore a hypothetical situation: You've got a presentation due at the end of the week, and you're really excited to work it.

You've built an outline. You've found a graphics library that's going to make this presentation look slick.

You've even found a great research resource -- for the sake of the story, let's call it The Wonder Encyclopedia.

Then your boss walks by, notices you're working on your presentation, and says: "You should use the Wonder Encyclopedia. They've got everything."

And suddenly you don't want to use the Wonder Encyclopedia. You kind of don't want to work on your presentation at all.

Why?

It's easy to be excited about something -- even hard work -- when we feel like we have agency and ownership of that thing.

But there's no greater killer to agency and ownership (and in turn, excitement) than being told to do something. (Even if that thing was our own idea in the first place!)

It's easy for us to fall into this trap when we interact with leads, clients, and coworkers.

If we know that purchasing 500 widgets will double a lead's revenue, make them look half their age, and mow their lawn for them... we're compelled to grab them by the shirt and say, "you should purchase 500 widgets!"

But today, I'm going to ask you to consider another way.

Today's Mission

Look at the last handful of emails you've sent.

Whether these emails are to leads, coworkers, or clients doesn't matter, since the effect can be the same: a stripping of agency and ownership and a decrease in motivation to act.

Look for instances where patronizing language like "you should" has been used.

Then, consider ways you could reframe the message.

I've found the phrase "I've found" to be really powerful. (See what I did there?)

For example, rather than saying "You should buy 500 widgets!"

...consider saying "I've found that people in a similar situation have had a lot of success after buying 500 widgets."

It's still a suggestion, sure, but it's not a command. You've still given the other party the agency to make the decision and own it.

I hope you take on today's mission and have great success with it.

Only because it can be immensely helpful... But not because you should.

Digging Deeper: